SusanThe Less Than Perfect Beta Mum
January 12th 2008 20:30
Those parents amongst us who do not devote every single second of every day to our children (and I am one of them!) will be relieved to know that we are not alone. Far from it in fact. This month's issue of Junior magazine devotes an entire 3 pages us less than perfect mothers who, considered selfish by some, dare to talk about subjects other than our children, to read books that aren't about parenting, and even enjoy precious time away from them with the occasional glass of wine!
In Junior Magazine's article 'The Rise - and daily fall - of Beta mother' writer Brett Paesel talks about the strange breed of Other Mothers she met when she became a parent herself - mothers who seemed manically obsessed with their children and with domestic activities in general.
The American media has dubbed them 'Alpha Moms' and they "considered breastfeeding a near-sacred , spent hours cooking healthy child-friendly casseroles, enroled their toddlers in music gym and French classes, framed their children's art, spent thousands of pounds on their designer-inspired rooms, and recorded everything their child did in a series of cloth-bound memory books."
Ok my four year old now has three memory boxes and her art is pinned up on the kitchen notice-board. But there is also a lot of 'art-work' that has to be secretly thrown away or it would take over the house (she brings pages of it home from school every single day!) She has a nice bedroom with transfers of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty on the walls but they sit alongside her own crayoning and attempts to decorate. And unlike the children of some Alpha Moms she is not dressed in Junior Armani, Ralph Lauren or even Baby Gap, and neither am I. If I had the money for an expensive designer wardrobe it would be spent on mine not her - I'm not the one who spills paint on my clothes, cuts them with sissors deliberately, and I won't have grown out of them in three months time!
Brett Paesel goes as far as admitting that when she became a mother she felt she was supposed to be completely fulfilled by the baby who lay nestled, or screaming, in her arms and completely transformed by the miracle of motherhood - but she wasn't. She identifies a breed of Beta Mums who are often bored by the Alpha Mums and the culture of motherhood as being wonderful at all times, and even at times bored by their babies.
She became a happy, productive parent when she claimed time for herself and resisted the notion that her child should be the centre of her universe. And good for her for speaking out because parenting can be dull at times, young babies are not always the best company and often parents will crave adult company and conversation, and conversations that do not revolve totally around what are children ate that day, said that day, and how many dirty nappies they produced.
The less than perfect Beta Mum sounds a far happier and healthier one to me.
Glass of Champagne.
In Junior Magazine's article 'The Rise - and daily fall - of Beta mother' writer Brett Paesel talks about the strange breed of Other Mothers she met when she became a parent herself - mothers who seemed manically obsessed with their children and with domestic activities in general.
The American media has dubbed them 'Alpha Moms' and they "considered breastfeeding a near-sacred , spent hours cooking healthy child-friendly casseroles, enroled their toddlers in music gym and French classes, framed their children's art, spent thousands of pounds on their designer-inspired rooms, and recorded everything their child did in a series of cloth-bound memory books."
Ok my four year old now has three memory boxes and her art is pinned up on the kitchen notice-board. But there is also a lot of 'art-work' that has to be secretly thrown away or it would take over the house (she brings pages of it home from school every single day!) She has a nice bedroom with transfers of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty on the walls but they sit alongside her own crayoning and attempts to decorate. And unlike the children of some Alpha Moms she is not dressed in Junior Armani, Ralph Lauren or even Baby Gap, and neither am I. If I had the money for an expensive designer wardrobe it would be spent on mine not her - I'm not the one who spills paint on my clothes, cuts them with sissors deliberately, and I won't have grown out of them in three months time!
Brett Paesel goes as far as admitting that when she became a mother she felt she was supposed to be completely fulfilled by the baby who lay nestled, or screaming, in her arms and completely transformed by the miracle of motherhood - but she wasn't. She identifies a breed of Beta Mums who are often bored by the Alpha Mums and the culture of motherhood as being wonderful at all times, and even at times bored by their babies.
She became a happy, productive parent when she claimed time for herself and resisted the notion that her child should be the centre of her universe. And good for her for speaking out because parenting can be dull at times, young babies are not always the best company and often parents will crave adult company and conversation, and conversations that do not revolve totally around what are children ate that day, said that day, and how many dirty nappies they produced.
The less than perfect Beta Mum sounds a far happier and healthier one to me.
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