Susan GrahamChristmas Survival Tips
December 12th 2007 21:09
The reality of Christmas Day often does not live up to our high expectations and the Christmas we remembered as children when it all seemed exciting, stress-free, money was no concern and all we had to think about was whether we would get every single present we had asked for.
It would be nice if Christmas Day was exactly as it would be if it were a Disney film – the family gathers together to celebrate the festive season in total peace and harmony, everyone gets along well, there are no arguments, everyone shares the chores and it is a relaxing and enjoyable time. All the children get the presents they want and are extremely grateful and highly appreciative. In fact they start on their thank you letters straight away! None of their new expensive toys get broken or arrive without batteries, and no-one is bored an hour after they have all been opened.
But Christmas is rarely like that, especially when families are thrown together for long periods yet they have not seen each other all year, often through choice! Where step-families are involved it gets even more complicated and again when both sets of in-laws want you to be with them on Christmas Day. Then there are divorced parents where Dad buys an expensive present that Mum neither approves of or can afford.
By Christmas morning children are often over-excited and over-tired. The Christmas celebrations have been building up in their schools and nurseries since October. (My daughter started rehearsing her Christmas play in September). If they are not over-tired then children are hyper-active having consumed an entire chocolate selection box before Christmas dinner is even in the oven.
Then there’s the dinner itself and something always goes wrong. Something is forgotten, something is burnt, and someone always seems to notice. Or worse still there’s a guest who fails to tell you they are vegetarian until the turkey is on the table, and even the vegetables have been doused in animal fat. So it’s bread and Vegemite or nothing!
And then of course there’s the washing up and the arguments over who is going to do it, and who can’t do it because they have fallen asleep in the chair despite the fact they have done nothing to help in any of the preparations. And there’s always someone who has had one glass of sherry too many and who you would like to fall asleep in the chair but who instead is creating even more tension by reminding everyone about embarrassing incidents we would all rather forget (usually relating to the previous Christmas!)
Even before the big day arrives tensions can be running high: some friend has taken offence because you haven’t sent them a Christmas card, presents that have been bought months in advance are now half price, and then an unexpected bill arrives on Christmas Eve, and to make matters worse it isn’t the credit card bill. That is bound to arrive a nine o’clock sharp as soon as the world is up and running again on January 2nd.
But it’s not all bad. The children are happy, the atmosphere on the whole is good, and you have only gained half a stone in weight. It could be worse!
Christmas Survival Tips
Parentlineplus.org.uk offer the following Christmas survival tips:
Get together and write a list of what everyone wants to do – decide what is really important, and if possible prioritise.
Make a list of who needs to see who – particularly important with extended stepfamilies.
Use a calendar - make a note of which family members are doing what and when.
Schedule in some time to recharge your own batteries - if you’re well rested you’ll be able to enjoy your family more.
Don’t try and do everything yourself - make a list of jobs which need to be done and allocate them between the whole family.
Don’t try and keep everyone happy all the time - you’ll collapse under the pressure.
If this is your first Christmas as a stepfamily your child may feel confused and maybe even angry – try to allocate some time that you can spend alone together to reassure them that your love for them has not changed.
Adults don’t have to enjoy being with children all the time - allow some time for you to be alone with your partner, other family members or friends.
Don’t assume that everyone else is having a wonderful time – everyone else is muddling through just like you, so try not to put pressure on yourself.
Don’t act in anger – if everything gets too much remove yourself from the situation and perhaps call a friend or relative.
Flickr photo by Ineedathis
It would be nice if Christmas Day was exactly as it would be if it were a Disney film – the family gathers together to celebrate the festive season in total peace and harmony, everyone gets along well, there are no arguments, everyone shares the chores and it is a relaxing and enjoyable time. All the children get the presents they want and are extremely grateful and highly appreciative. In fact they start on their thank you letters straight away! None of their new expensive toys get broken or arrive without batteries, and no-one is bored an hour after they have all been opened.
Flickr photo by Ineedathis
But Christmas is rarely like that, especially when families are thrown together for long periods yet they have not seen each other all year, often through choice! Where step-families are involved it gets even more complicated and again when both sets of in-laws want you to be with them on Christmas Day. Then there are divorced parents where Dad buys an expensive present that Mum neither approves of or can afford.
By Christmas morning children are often over-excited and over-tired. The Christmas celebrations have been building up in their schools and nurseries since October. (My daughter started rehearsing her Christmas play in September). If they are not over-tired then children are hyper-active having consumed an entire chocolate selection box before Christmas dinner is even in the oven.
Then there’s the dinner itself and something always goes wrong. Something is forgotten, something is burnt, and someone always seems to notice. Or worse still there’s a guest who fails to tell you they are vegetarian until the turkey is on the table, and even the vegetables have been doused in animal fat. So it’s bread and Vegemite or nothing!
And then of course there’s the washing up and the arguments over who is going to do it, and who can’t do it because they have fallen asleep in the chair despite the fact they have done nothing to help in any of the preparations. And there’s always someone who has had one glass of sherry too many and who you would like to fall asleep in the chair but who instead is creating even more tension by reminding everyone about embarrassing incidents we would all rather forget (usually relating to the previous Christmas!)
Flickr photo by AlpenaMi
Even before the big day arrives tensions can be running high: some friend has taken offence because you haven’t sent them a Christmas card, presents that have been bought months in advance are now half price, and then an unexpected bill arrives on Christmas Eve, and to make matters worse it isn’t the credit card bill. That is bound to arrive a nine o’clock sharp as soon as the world is up and running again on January 2nd.
But it’s not all bad. The children are happy, the atmosphere on the whole is good, and you have only gained half a stone in weight. It could be worse!
Christmas Survival Tips
Parentlineplus.org.uk offer the following Christmas survival tips:
Get together and write a list of what everyone wants to do – decide what is really important, and if possible prioritise.
Make a list of who needs to see who – particularly important with extended stepfamilies.
Use a calendar - make a note of which family members are doing what and when.
Schedule in some time to recharge your own batteries - if you’re well rested you’ll be able to enjoy your family more.
Don’t try and do everything yourself - make a list of jobs which need to be done and allocate them between the whole family.
Don’t try and keep everyone happy all the time - you’ll collapse under the pressure.
If this is your first Christmas as a stepfamily your child may feel confused and maybe even angry – try to allocate some time that you can spend alone together to reassure them that your love for them has not changed.
Adults don’t have to enjoy being with children all the time - allow some time for you to be alone with your partner, other family members or friends.
Don’t assume that everyone else is having a wonderful time – everyone else is muddling through just like you, so try not to put pressure on yourself.
Don’t act in anger – if everything gets too much remove yourself from the situation and perhaps call a friend or relative.
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Comment by Susan Thompson 1
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Comment by Anonymous
And the tis are grat. There is so much pressure for Christmas to be 'perfect'.