Susan GrahamDealing with sickness
July 9th 2008 14:47
I have been away from my blogs for awhile. What started off as a visit back home to WV, ended up being time spent at the hospital with a loved one that we weren't sure was going to make it. This brought up many challenging conversations with my children.
The second night I was home my mom woke me at midnight to let me know that her twin sister was being taken to the hospital because they believed she was having a heart attack. By 6a.m. my aunt was on a ventilator fighting for her life. She was a smoker for 38 years, and to say her diet was lacking is an understatement. She learned from the best how to cook though! My husband likes to joke that my grandma can make anything that is healthy, unhealthy, before it hits the table. This is true! Green beans do taste better with a little bacon grease!
The doctor's determined that she did in fact have a heart attack that was cause by COPD. Her lungs were so filled with fluid that she was literally drowning. We almost lost her with the heart attack, and then we almost lost her the second day in the hospital when her BP went down to 60/30.
Seeing someone you love on a ventilator is not something I wish on anyone. It is so hard to see. The nurses kept trying to keep her sedated but the nurses words to me were "there isn't enough sedation in the world for someone on a vent". They had to tie my aunt down to the bed because when she came to enough she would try to rip the vent out of her mouth - a common reaction - she wasn't even aware of what she was doing. So, she would wake up, thrash around, we would try to figure out what she was needing, and then we would see tears streaming down her face because of the pain she was in. The nurse would come in and put her back to sleep. It was awful.
After 4 days on the vent they took it out and she was able to breathe on her own. The fluid they had suctioned out of her lungs looked like tar - and most of it was exactly that. 38 years of smoking was one of the major reasons for the heart attack.
As I have mentioned before, I have three children. The baby of course didn't know anything was going on, although he was acting up just because of the tension I know he felt among all of us adults. The 5 year old didn't really understand what was going on, just that Aunt Pris was sick. The 9 year old was very upset, scared and had many questions for me. I have never had to deal with these types of questions before because she was always too young to understand when things like this have happened. She saw me crying and my grandma crying. She is close to my Aunt. I found that the best thing I could do was be honest with her, which looking back I know was the right decision. I didn't try to hide how bad it was. I didn't tell her everything was going to be okay, because I wasn't sure it was. When she asked if her Aunt Pris was gong to die I would say "She could, but we are going to say our prayers and think positive thoughts and we hope it will help Aunt Pris fight". I saw my little girl in the corner of the house many times praying.
My aunt has come out of it. She is now home. Her heart is still weak and she is on a lot of medicine, but even the dr's are amazed that she is as good as she is now, or that she was able to overcome the attack on her body. My daughter looked at me and said "God heard me mommy". It made me cry as I said a big thank you to the man upstairs for answering her little prayers.
My advice to all of you is to always be honest with your children. Don't lie to them. Telling my daughter the truth gave her trust in me and allowed her to openly deal with her feelings. If I had tried to lie she would have saw through it because of the actions of all the adults around her. And if I had said everything was going to be okay, and it didn't end up that way the trust would be broken. In situations like this - keep positive, pray, and work through it as a family.
The second night I was home my mom woke me at midnight to let me know that her twin sister was being taken to the hospital because they believed she was having a heart attack. By 6a.m. my aunt was on a ventilator fighting for her life. She was a smoker for 38 years, and to say her diet was lacking is an understatement. She learned from the best how to cook though! My husband likes to joke that my grandma can make anything that is healthy, unhealthy, before it hits the table. This is true! Green beans do taste better with a little bacon grease!
The doctor's determined that she did in fact have a heart attack that was cause by COPD. Her lungs were so filled with fluid that she was literally drowning. We almost lost her with the heart attack, and then we almost lost her the second day in the hospital when her BP went down to 60/30.
Seeing someone you love on a ventilator is not something I wish on anyone. It is so hard to see. The nurses kept trying to keep her sedated but the nurses words to me were "there isn't enough sedation in the world for someone on a vent". They had to tie my aunt down to the bed because when she came to enough she would try to rip the vent out of her mouth - a common reaction - she wasn't even aware of what she was doing. So, she would wake up, thrash around, we would try to figure out what she was needing, and then we would see tears streaming down her face because of the pain she was in. The nurse would come in and put her back to sleep. It was awful.
After 4 days on the vent they took it out and she was able to breathe on her own. The fluid they had suctioned out of her lungs looked like tar - and most of it was exactly that. 38 years of smoking was one of the major reasons for the heart attack.
As I have mentioned before, I have three children. The baby of course didn't know anything was going on, although he was acting up just because of the tension I know he felt among all of us adults. The 5 year old didn't really understand what was going on, just that Aunt Pris was sick. The 9 year old was very upset, scared and had many questions for me. I have never had to deal with these types of questions before because she was always too young to understand when things like this have happened. She saw me crying and my grandma crying. She is close to my Aunt. I found that the best thing I could do was be honest with her, which looking back I know was the right decision. I didn't try to hide how bad it was. I didn't tell her everything was going to be okay, because I wasn't sure it was. When she asked if her Aunt Pris was gong to die I would say "She could, but we are going to say our prayers and think positive thoughts and we hope it will help Aunt Pris fight". I saw my little girl in the corner of the house many times praying.
My aunt has come out of it. She is now home. Her heart is still weak and she is on a lot of medicine, but even the dr's are amazed that she is as good as she is now, or that she was able to overcome the attack on her body. My daughter looked at me and said "God heard me mommy". It made me cry as I said a big thank you to the man upstairs for answering her little prayers.
My advice to all of you is to always be honest with your children. Don't lie to them. Telling my daughter the truth gave her trust in me and allowed her to openly deal with her feelings. If I had tried to lie she would have saw through it because of the actions of all the adults around her. And if I had said everything was going to be okay, and it didn't end up that way the trust would be broken. In situations like this - keep positive, pray, and work through it as a family.
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