Susan GrahamHelicopter Parents Come in for a Landing
January 5th 2009 23:38
Photo by Sergio Catala
My mother perpetuates the problem. She is convinced that anytime the kids walk out the front door they are going to be abducted. We live in a very nice neighborhood with a large, tree-filled front yard, and the kids love to romp around out there. Hubby has no problems letting them do their thing while he tinkers around in the garage or plays guitar in the front room. He doesn’t feel the need to watch them constantly; he simply checks on them every now and then. When I’m in charge, I feel the need to actually be in the front yard with them. I don’t follow them around, but I at least have one eye on them most of the time.
It was a really big deal recently when we let Princess, who is 6, go across the street to play at her friend’s house. Her friend comes to our house all the time, but we had a hard time letting Princess go over there where we couldn’t watch her. I knew we were sheltering her too much, but it’s easy to get caught up in the “better safe than sorry” mentality. The media doesn’t help with its daily horror show filled with child molesters, rapists, and murderers. It has fostered what they call the “Culture of Fear” in which we are just too in touch with the rest of the world. It makes it seem as if dangers are lurking around every corner.
I actually have personal reasons for holding on to my babies a little more tightly than most: When I was 6 years old, I was actually molested by a friend’s father while I was spending the night at her house. Now that I’m a mom, I am determined to do everything in my power to prevent something like that from happening to my kids. Who knows who is inside that house across the street? But we have known the family for years, and I trusted my Mommy Instincts and let her go. And you know what? Nothing happened! Princess had a wonderful time! And I felt good that I was able to push her out of the nest a little bit.
This is just one more example of what they DON’T tell you when you decide to have kids. Being a parent is not just about loving them and feeding them and putting them to bed. You actually have to let them go one day and hope that you’ve taught them enough to survive. Wow, what a scary thought!
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