Susan GrahamOne Parent Can Be Better Than Two (LINK)
January 24th 2008 10:02
At last an intelligent article on the family that recognises the importance of happy contented parents raising happy contented children. Significantly the point is made that two parents are not necessarily needed for the family unit to be a happy one - a happy single parent is definately better than two miserable ones.
India Knight writing in the Sunday Times:
The problem with political parties lazily banging on about “the family” all the time, as though the nuclear model were the remedy for all society’s ills, is that anyone even slightly observant can’t have failed to notice that the traditional family is in dire straits.
I’m all for families, and for children being brought up in secure, loving environments – who isn’t? – but I get tremendously irritated when it is suggested, as it so often is, that having two parents under the same roof somehow magically guarantees a Janet and John kind of childhood, free of risk or trauma, and that having just the one parent is a recipe for impending hoodie-druggie-gun disaster.
It’s such a load of guff.
What actually matters, to children and adults alike, is having happy, contented parents whose felicity communicates itself to their children. Whether the happy parents are happy together or happier separated, and whether the family is the 2.3 version or a more seemingly chaotic model filled with steps and halves and honorary aunties, seems to me completely irrelevant. It’s simple: a happy parent makes for a happy child, and a miserable one communicates misery to his or her offspring – not just occasionally, but for decades on end.
India Knight writing in the Sunday Times:
The problem with political parties lazily banging on about “the family” all the time, as though the nuclear model were the remedy for all society’s ills, is that anyone even slightly observant can’t have failed to notice that the traditional family is in dire straits.
I’m all for families, and for children being brought up in secure, loving environments – who isn’t? – but I get tremendously irritated when it is suggested, as it so often is, that having two parents under the same roof somehow magically guarantees a Janet and John kind of childhood, free of risk or trauma, and that having just the one parent is a recipe for impending hoodie-druggie-gun disaster.
Sisters: Flickr photo by Shutterblog.
It’s such a load of guff.
What actually matters, to children and adults alike, is having happy, contented parents whose felicity communicates itself to their children. Whether the happy parents are happy together or happier separated, and whether the family is the 2.3 version or a more seemingly chaotic model filled with steps and halves and honorary aunties, seems to me completely irrelevant. It’s simple: a happy parent makes for a happy child, and a miserable one communicates misery to his or her offspring – not just occasionally, but for decades on end.
Happy Baby: Flickr photo by Jeanny's Foto
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
There are so many things that are defined by the social 'ideal', even though that ideal may be anything but! Staying together 'for the sake of the kids' is not, to my way of thinking, productive or a source of harmony, if it means the children are constantly exposed to conflict, or even supposedly 'hidden' misery - kids can sense a lot about the people who are so central in their lives.
Michaelie
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Just like Amy said, ideally two happy parents would be great....but having two miserable ones....that was my life.
My dad was always miserable and it really set the tone for the rest of the family. When he was out and it was just my mum and my siblings the house was just so much calmer....and everyone else was calmer too.
I agree with what you said to Michaelie about surrounding your daughter with an extended family.
I also grew up in a very large extended family so what I didn't get from my dad, I certainly got from others...otherwise I think I'd be a real mess.
Love & stuff
Mrs M