Is Divorce Contagious?
December 10th 2008 03:15
I just found out that a friend of mine at work is getting a divorce. This threw me for a loop for several reasons. For one thing, I thought I kind of knew her. We've been to lunch a couple of times. I've brought the kids to her house to go swimming in her pool. We have a lot in common: we're the same age, we've both been married for more than a decade, we both have two kids (although hers are a bit older than mine). I just felt like she and I were sort of kindred spirits. So this whole divorce thing really took me by surprise.
I just can't stop thinking about her. The whole situation makes me question my own marriage. Hubby and I have been married for 11 years now, and we are very, very happy. But Debbie was married for like 15 years, and her marriage is just now ending. So what will the future bring to my marriage? Will we one day realize we don't love each other anymore? Does that really happen?
How exactly does a divorce evolve? Does a couple just wake up one day and hate each other? Are there clues ahead of time? I like to think that my own marriage is as solid as a rock. We don't just love each other -- we genuinely like each other. Hubby is my best friend. But at the same time, our lives are very busy. There are times when I get home from work, and he immediately leaves for band practice. We are like two ships passing in the night at times.
Yet, when we finally come together again, our love is as strong as ever. It never goes away. So I'm hoping that a nasty divorce "bug" doesn't invade our lives -- ever. I never want to be without Hubby. And I never want my kids to know the pain of a broken family. Both I and Hubby come from divorced families, and it is no fun.
All I can do is keep the love alive in our relationship. Like the quote I once saw on a church bulletin board, "Love is not just an emotion. Love is a decision." I have made a decision to love my husband. And I take that responsibility very seriously.
I just can't stop thinking about her. The whole situation makes me question my own marriage. Hubby and I have been married for 11 years now, and we are very, very happy. But Debbie was married for like 15 years, and her marriage is just now ending. So what will the future bring to my marriage? Will we one day realize we don't love each other anymore? Does that really happen?
How exactly does a divorce evolve? Does a couple just wake up one day and hate each other? Are there clues ahead of time? I like to think that my own marriage is as solid as a rock. We don't just love each other -- we genuinely like each other. Hubby is my best friend. But at the same time, our lives are very busy. There are times when I get home from work, and he immediately leaves for band practice. We are like two ships passing in the night at times.
Yet, when we finally come together again, our love is as strong as ever. It never goes away. So I'm hoping that a nasty divorce "bug" doesn't invade our lives -- ever. I never want to be without Hubby. And I never want my kids to know the pain of a broken family. Both I and Hubby come from divorced families, and it is no fun.
All I can do is keep the love alive in our relationship. Like the quote I once saw on a church bulletin board, "Love is not just an emotion. Love is a decision." I have made a decision to love my husband. And I take that responsibility very seriously.
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